Afraid of the dark

Gentle spirit do you know that
when you smile the sun shines?

And when you laugh the birds sing.

But when you are sad the sun
hides away in clouds.

So please don't frown -
I'm afraid of the dark.

Cycles

We come full circle,
Again and again.
Meeting, parting,
Stopping, starting.

Clutched in the fist of fate,
Squeezed beyond endurance,
Enduring beyond reason,
Loving beyond hope,
Hoping beyond despair,
Cycles, endless cycles.

I have lived a thousand times,
I have died a thousand times,
For you.
And for you I would die a thousand
Times a thousand more.

Your kiss is resurrection,
Your touch is life eternal.

Little Witch

Little witch what do you see
in the swirling leaves of tea?
Is it time, is it me or
some yet unknown destiny?
What magic potion can you brew,
what works of wonder can you do,
what webs of mystery can you spin
to snare and bind and hold me in?
Shall I too then cast a spell to
snare and bind and hold you well?
Or shall we go our separate ways
and search and seek out all our days
the magic that we hope will heal
and give us hope to make us feel
all those things we thought were gone forever?

The real deal

I keep trying to write really cool stuff and not doing too well so my friend Milt advised me instead to tell real stories from my life. Ordinarily I’d think that would be extremely boring, as nothing very interesting ever happens to me but I guess I couldn’t do any worse, so here goes. When I was little, about five years old or so, we lived for a time with my grandparents. The house only had two bedrooms so my sister (who is two years older) and I shared a bed that was in my grandparent’s bedroom. I don’t remember much about that room except that it was small and our bed was against the wall on one side of the room and my grandparent’s bed was up against the opposite wall. In the corner at the foot of their bed was a closet that kind of went kitty corner against the two walls so that it was at a forty five degree angle to either. It was kind of a strange set up but the house was small enough that there wasn’t enough space to spare for a normal closet in the wall so they just walled in a corner. This room was at the south end of the house so on one side was a garage, on two sides were the exterior walls and on the last side was a bathroom. It seems like the room had a wooden floor and the walls were bare in a yellowy kind of off white. Somewhere I have a picture of me standing on the front porch of that house in my genuine Hopalong Cassidy cowboy suit. What a proud lad I was in that outfit! But that’s another story. This one is about snoring. My grandpa used to snore when he slept, sometimes very loudly. At that age I didn’t know anything about snoring but I had learned about bears and so I thought that terrible growling sound was coming from a bear in the closet. I remember laying there in the dark too petrified to move for fear of revealing my location to the bear in the closet. I surely did not want to become his next meal. It was some time before I understood that it was my grandfather snoring that caused my fear but the funny thing is, to this day I have an almost morbid fear of bears, particularly grizzly bears. It didn’t help matters that when I first moved to Montana back in the 60's, up near Glacier Park, that six girls were killed by a grizzly bear while they slept. They were all in one tent when the bear attacked. They never did really understand what had provoked the bear. I love going back to Montana whenever I get the chance but I surely do get nervous about the bears. Not too many years ago I was in Glacier Park with two of my sons camping. We were in the campground at Many Glacier on the north shore of Swiftcurrent Lake. Each campground had a big steel box with a warning painted on: “Caution, bears come through the campground at night looking for food. Make sure to lock up your food so they can’t get it” or something like that. What I do remember for sure is how I felt and what I thought. “So, you want me to lock up my food so a hungry bear can’t get at it while I lay there in a nylon tent like a pig in a blanket!” Yeah, right. I slept that night in the back of my Rodeo while reassuring my family that I would be there to help if they needed me. All they had to do was scream! By the way, if you're wondering about the photo, it was taken in October just outside of West Yellowstone, Montana. One of my favorite places.

Deja vu

I was born for you.
Born at the dawn of time.
Do you remember?
We have known a thousand names.
We have loved a thousand times.
The universe was created around us.
You are the center.
Millennia, epochs and eras’
all were made for us.
We used to sit and dangle our
feet in them and laugh as the
currents of time raced by.
We existed only for each other.
Set on a course conceived
at the creation of the universe.
Inseparable. One.
Heaven shook at our kiss.
Angels swooned at our passion.
We gave birth to lightening
when we touched.
But we loved too fiercely and so
were consigned to time to wander.
Separate.
Alone.
Always searching.
Always yearning.
Destined to live our first love
over and over again.
But only when we meet.
Jealous gods.
So, down the dimly lit
corridors of time I wandered.
Searching through
the dust of ages.
Walled in by the cold stones
of loneliness, I searched.
The echos of your footsteps
dying in the distance
like a lovers promise.
Always just one day, one year,
one lifetime ahead of me.
But you never forgot me.
I lived on in your memory.
No illusions these, but
memories of our past.
It is my voice you heard
when you were all alone.
It was my face you glimpsed
when you turned around
too quickly in a crowd.
I am the one you see in dreams.
And so I wait, wait with
pounding heart the
coming of the night.
Waiting to come back to you,
back to your dreams.
I cross the void as easily
as you cross a room.
I build a boat of dreams
and sail my tears to you.
I can be with you always,
in your dreams.
But only for you.
On quiet nights I could hear
your heart beat, leading me
closer and closer, like a
beacon in the night.
I could hear you calling.
Calling out to me.
I could not answer.
Though I called out to you,
you never heard me.
All you heard was the
pounding of my heart.
Pounding, aching, throbbing.
Sobbing.
There was a rift in time that
conspired against us.
I curse the fates that brought
me to this sorry state.
Alone.
You are the heart cut out of me.
My memory of you is
not some vague recollection.
It is a shrine at which I worship you.
I still taste your sweet lips and
smell the woman smell of you.
Your touch still burns like fire.
When you smile my heart skips a beat.
We share one destiny.
One heart.
Storms are black to remind you
of my heart without you.
Lightning flashes to remind you
of our promise.
Thunder roars to remind you
of my agony without you.
And flowers bloom, delicate and sweet,
to remind me of you.
As each spring brings new life,
each life brings new hope.
And I have found you again at last.
Bittersweet victory.
Your smile never changes.
It is the fingerprint of your soul.
We have been so close before.
And won.
We have been so close before.
And lost.
I know all too well the conditions
of this cursed state.
So, until the time is right my heart,
I shall send the sun
and the wind to be my proxies.
When you feel the sun hot upon your cheek,
that will be my breath as I steal a kiss.
And when you feel the wind in your hair,
that will be my caress as I plumb
the shimmering depths of your eyes.

Smoke

Like smoke my image lingers.
Barely visible.
A shadow memory.
A hint of something
seen in the distance.
Portending  what?
I am always just
beyond the forest of
your reality.
Rising like wisps of smoke
into your consciousness.
Am I real?
Have you ever really seen me?
I am like a distant star
twinkling in the periphery
of your vision.
When you look at me I disappear.
Maddening.

Little Flower.... For my darlin' Irish princess!

Little flower bloom for me
that I might your beauty see
and drink the love that glistens
like dew drops in your eyes.